Ambulatory Drinking Capabilities
2008 October 14
Most of you don’t have any trouble walking and chewing gum at the same time, right? How about walking with a drink in your hand? No?
How about walking WHILE you’re drinking? Now do you have trouble?
What’s that you say? You wouldn’t drink while you walk? Of course you would. You’re cruising in the mall and take a hit on your McDonald’s milkshake to increase your ass size … go on, admit it. You’re ambling along the sidewalk on a warm summer day and take a swig from your Aquafina or Dasani. C’mon, admit it. You were taught not to as a kid, but you do it anyway as an adult, right?
Me too.
Would you like to guess how much coffee went into my mouth and how much went onto my shirt?
Don’t drink while you’re walking people.
-JDT-
Is it me or is your sense of humor getting drier and more self-depricating? Funny though…very funny but only because I did it too this morning. Thought I peed my pants but nope…knocked over my coffee!
LMAO! Both of us? What are the odds??
But no, it’s you … I’ve always been dry and self-depricating. It’s how I control the OtF ego. Heh. Otherwise I’d spin into supervillainy and megalomania.
I’m sorry, but you do have some sort of muscle spasm issue? Walk, while tuning queueing a song on your iPod in one hand and drink from something in your other. If you can’t do that, see a physical therapist, ’cause you got problems.
Then I got problems. No secret there. And because I have no health insurance, I can’t go see a physical therapist either. Oh, and I don’t own an iPod — PLEASE NOTE THE SPELLING. You’re one of the few people I’ve ever seen get it right. But that wins you no brownie points here, buster.
LOL Let me guess, the Tide pens weren’t enough, right?
Oh, they might’ve been … if the barrel was the size of the bottle of detergent we bought on Sunday. *Sigh* I’m sitting around in my sweatshirt now, hiding my shame. And WIGSF made me feel bad too. I need comfort sex to make it all better.
Oh, before I forget, we’re going to need tooth fairy money. The other one came out this morning.
Okay. I need Parking Fairy money anyway. I’ll hit the bank on the way home.
Thanks for the PSA. I think maybe you should write up some kind of proposal and get some kind of federal grant and start some kind of safe drinking public awareness program.
And 20 years from now, as you’re speaking in high school gymnasium about the dangers of walking and drinking, you’ll think back to that fateful day when you dumped coffee upon yourself, and smile mysteriously.
Great idea, Bryce! And I’ll be the only one that knows it’s not the first time it happened. Heh.
Has anybody ever mentioned how funny (not in a point and laugh way but in a kinda cute way) you and the wife are when you start putting little personal conversations into the comments section of a blog?
Nope, I gotta give you your due — you’re the first one to ever say anything. Hm — I wonder now how often we do it?
And what did I speel correctly?
iPod. Lowercase “i”, uppercase “P”. NO ONE does that correctly; you’re the first I’ve ever seen.
I can only drink something if I have straw. If I have to sip something, I stop in my tracks. I’m far too klutzy to take the chance, especially with coffee. ouch.
Yeah, me too, Courtney. I like my straws. But coffee with a straw isn’t … well, yeah — ouch.
I’m logged in all over as Courtney Vail, but my link doesn’t always show up. Not quite sure why or how to amend that. I just commented on Ben’s page too, and no link. Not sure what I’m doing wrong.
Check your account settings — there’s a way for you to set it up so your name always shows up as the link when you log in. Check the forums or help section too. I just had the article for someone else — BEN, in fact. Here’s the link:
http://en.forums.wordpress.com/topic/how-to-make-your-name-link-to-your-blog?replies=54
HTH!
It only works with a straw but coffee and a plastic straw wouldn’t mix.
Nope, as I have learned from experience. *Sigh*