So, Time for … the DISH

All right, you all think you want to know what the SSRLP was, do you? Fine, I’ll dish. Right here, right now.

I’m sorry I’ve been offline so long. It’s been tough to get on and when I do I have other things I have to do even if I don’t feel like it. But last time I did get online, some of you stated you wanted to know about the SSRLP. I figure there’s no harm in telling you now. I hope.

Some of you emailed and asked it involved a novel. No, it doesn’t. It does involve writing, though.

So, my buddy JES heard me moaning and groaning about my job sitch back in October. He contacted me and said something to the effect of, “Hey, I can connect you with these guys I know who do writing projects, some of ‘em technical writing. Want me to introduce you?” To which I eagerly replied, “Why, yes … yes I do. Thank you!” And so he did, being a man of his word and honorable.

The person he introduced me to ended up contacting me by email and asked me to set up a time to talk on the phone. I did. He missed the appointment. I thought, Not good. He set up another appointment, and this time he kept it. He spoke with me for about fifteen minutes and basically left me with a “Don’t call us, we’ll call you” sort of departure. I figured what the heck … it was worth a shot, right? I went about my life.

About three weeks later, guess who calls? That’s right, the contact. He gets in touch with me while I’m walking through Wally World. He asks if I have a few minutes to discuss a project he thinks I’d be a great fit for. I said “Sure!” – after I got up from the floor. (No, I didn’t expect to hear from him again.)

He tells me he wants me to write a book. A technical book. About PowerPoint. Specifically, he wants me to write a book about PowerPoint 2010. The company puts out a series of books overseas, similar to our For Dummies books, and they want authors to walk readers through using hardware or software in baby steps with simple wording and a few page elements which enhance the task-oriented information.

I almost had a heart attack. I told him I’d let him know. My beloved wife stood beside me grinning like a Cheshire cat. “You’re going to do it,” she said. “I don’t think so; it’s not something I can do, I don’t think.” The guy on the phone says “Why not? You can do it. Tell you what, send me a sample table of contents and I’ll present it. If they don’t like it, they’ll pick someone else.” “Oh,” I says, “uh … okay. Sure. I’ll try to get that to you as soon as I have a chance.” I hang up. My wife continues with the Cheshire grin. I explain she should wipe the smirk off her face because I have to compete for the project and since I’ve never, in my entire 13 year (at the time) career, used PowerPoint (never mind the 2010 version, which isn’t even out yet!), I’d have little or no chance at it.

I was wrong. Long, LOOOONG story short, I got the project. Over the next – what? five? six? – weeks, I wrote that book. I had a lot of help from my precious LOML and from the experienced author the agent put me in touch with to guide me through the process for this book. The company is very stern and inflexible about the format and the requirements; no problem. It made the book easier to write, once I got the hang of it. And it was a paying gig. Not a ton of money, but something.

So, I haven’t seen the money yet, and I will be a published author. I don’t know when yet. And it won’t be under my pen name, which I reserve only for fiction writing. But it’s something and I enjoyed doing it, even though it was tough at times and I barely (!) made the deadline.

I’m waiting to hear back on revisions and corrections and for the money to arrive. And that’s the long and short of the SSRLP.

Feel better now that you know? I didn’t think so.

-JDT-

All original content © 2009 DarcKnyt
ALL rights reserved.

One for the Writerlies

Amateur writers are often naturally susceptible to the claims of “experts” – those who present themselves as authorities in the field of writing. You’ve all read them in text books or maybe in a book on the writing craft you’ve read. These are people who give us, the learners, the seekers, the “rules” by which we must write, if we write in search of the elusive prize of publication.  Add to those experts a long and growing list of editors, agents and authors with Internet presence.

I’m re-reading a book I went through months ago. It had a great impact on me for a couple of reasons. First, the author is a man who worked to develop a workshop teaching homeless people how to write. He got them to expound their experiences and lives and distill it into the workshop. Over the many years of working with these individuals, he developed a class-type setting which works with or without a teacher. The workshop was wildly successful and many of those homeless had their stories published in the imprint he later started, and by the educational board of the county in which he started the workshops.

Anyway, in the book, he provides this piece of advice, with a caveat later in the chapter:

…beware of books that propose to give you rules. Beware of giving up your own quirkiness for someone else’s strictures. Rely on your own firsthand inspections and your own creative drives.

The author goes on to explain he does not mean to ignore standard rules of grammar and style for English. Those must be learned first. To bend the rules effectively you must first learn them perfectly. Like an artist who wants to draw superheroes, you must learn to draw the human body accurately first.

What do you think? Is this good advice, or is this a mistake? Do we shoot ourselves in the foot by not writing the way we’re told we have to write? Should we chase every whim of editor and agent and follow every breeze of literary wind rushing by us? Or do we do best when we learn what we must about our language and then ply our trade to our own voice, style, method and way?

Sound off, writers. I’m interested in what you’ve got to say.

-JDT-

All original content © 2009 DarcKnyt
ALL rights reserved.

Randomness and Whatnot

I know, I know … as long as I’ve been offline, you’d think I’d have an actual post to give you. I’m really sorry, but my wife’s the real blogger, not me. I just ramble. I have almost nothing to say lately. Things just … aren’t changing.

I’ve not heard anything back on the SSRLP. I don’t know if that’s good, bad or indifferent, but I’m not complaining. Frankly, I got a little sick of it. And I’m sure I promised to tell you what it was, but none of you really care about that anymore so I won’t bother. If something important happens with it, I’ll let you know.

Let’s see … hm. Not much to say. I’d love to tell you I’ve been writing my buttocks off, but no. My buttocks are there, larger than ever, and show no sign of being written off. I did flex out one exercise to keep my writing muscles moving, but nothing else. Nada. Zilch. Zippo.

Um … gee, that’s really it. I got nothin’.

I’ve tried to stop by your blogs and say hello, but honestly, the modest Internet time I have now I have to spend job hunting. There’s nothing promising out there right now which scares the crap out of me, but I’m looking. If I get even more scarce, forgive me. It’s just panic time. And I’m oh-so good at panic.

God bless, y’all.

-JDT-

Wow … That was Unexpected

Okay, despite the hype and the whole "they’re both the number one seeds" aspect of this, I did NOT expect the New Orleans Saints to beat the Indianapolis Colts in the Super Bowl yesterday.

With all the heralding of Peyton (yes, a boy’s name) Manning as the Messiah of Quarterbacks and the greatest living football player to ever grace a field, he’s won only one Lombardi trophy (which is what you get, besides an ASSLOAD of money, for winning the Super Bowl). Yet he continues to be praised as the most desirable quarterback in the sport around whom to build a team, and the most cerebral player in history, and yadda, yadda, yadda. So when he took the field yesterday I expected him to dissect the New Orleans Saints’s defense and run the score through the roof.

Instead, the only critical mistake made in the game, and the one which put the score beyond reach for Indianapolis, Peyton Manning made. He’s batting .500 for Super Bowls now. Face a sissy opponent like the 2006 Chicago  Bears and he’s phenomenal, oh-my-gosh-isn’t-he-awesome-and-no-one’s-ever-been-better. Play a serious team like the Saints were this year (finally), and suddenly he loses a game they once led by ten points. Interesting.

To any Indy fans who still may read my blog, I’m sorry. I know better than almost anyone you’re going to meet how it feels to have a fantastic season and see it all go away in the closing minutes of the only game that really matters in the end. It’s gut-wrenching and heart-breaking. I’m sorry for your loss.

To New Orleans Saints fans, congratulations on an amazing Cinderella-style season and a convincing and inspiring victory in the Super Bowl. What a great job, you should all be very proud of your team. Awesome.

Other than that, I didn’t do jack-squat this weekend. How ‘bout you?

-JDT-

Sorry, Gang…

I’m sorry everyone, the connection was pretty spotty last night and I didn’t get a post written. Besides, I had the job search thing happening and it took me a LOT longer in our current state than I’m used to.

I’ll try to have something more tomorrow for ya.

How’s it going with all of you? Few commenters yesterday, understandably, but sound off now and lemme know you’re there, willya?

-JDT-