Dichotomy


No matter what I do over the weekend, I never really feel productive unless I do something work-related.

For instance, I could write 10,000 words in a new book or story and get LOADS of Photoshop images made for book covers. I could read vast volumes of fiction and spend quality Facebook time updating my author page, getting feedback, and promoting my latest and greatest endeavor. I could do almost anything every single weekend and still come away feeling like I didn’t accomplish a doggone thing.

I can spend quality time with my computer programming training videos, though, and even if I only get to a couple of ‘em, I feel like I’ve done huge amounts of work. I feel satisfied, proud of my achievement(s), and the sensation I deserve to relax.

I don’t know why that is, or what it is inside me which drives the disproportionate slant that way. I’m watching a series right now about MVC, which stands for “Model/View/Controller” and is a web site structure which separates the business and data access logic from the presentation and uses something called a “Controller” to route the user’s requests between the two. There’s a great deal of background into how the controller knows how to handle the requests from the user, and where to go with it when it receives them, but in the end, this series doesn’t seem to benefit me as much as I hoped. I have a couple of looming projects and need to get them done, and despite how much I think this has potential for future projects (like Appmageddon, if I can ever get back to that), it’s not having much impact on me and my ability to code now.

So I sit and don’t feel much like returning to those videos on the weekends. I want to watch movies, and write, and make book covers for books I haven’t even written yet, and play with the kids. I want to do all sorts of things and can’t do any of them because I can’t seem to get past the nagging sensation I have to watch those videos. If not the MVC ones (I’m 37.5% of the way through), then something. And nothing strikes my interest right now.

Sometimes I wonder if just making up projects to practice coding is better.

But I find it strange how accomplishing things in other areas of my life feels so insignificant and how little can make me feel accomplished in this area.

How ‘bout you? Did you accomplish anything this weekend?

-jdt-

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One thought on “Dichotomy

  1. Um, dude. THE PURPOSE OF A WEEKEND IS TO GET AWAY FROM WORK! Sorry for yelling, but someone had to tell you. It’s only because I care.

    I know. Thanks, Spark. I…I’m workin’ on it. Really.

    Actually, I am also an achievement addict, always making to-do lists and getting a buzz from ticking things off them. However, I recognize that my addiction is a problem, and I try not to be too controlled by it.

    You can quit any time you want, I’m sure.

    (*thinks to self: Now I’m almost caught up on my blog reading! Then I just need to write my own weekly blog, vacuum the house, iron my pants, do yoga, water the plants, return that book to the library…* etc.)

    Spark? SPARK! You’re doing it again…

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