Weird Search Terms – July 28 ’08

Well, things haven’t been too weird on my search engine traffic for a while.  And they’re not … SUPER weird today, but … a little odd.

Well, I guess not, but they’re sort of funny.

Here they are:

Weird Search Terms 7-28-2008 Okay, so … these are pretty weird, I think.

For one thing, I figured I was the only one on earth without a career path at 40.  The fact that someone else is searching on that tells me I’m not alone.  And that’s just sad.  Whoever you are, please know you have my condolences.  I can’t tell you how scary it is to be in this place, and if you haven’t figured out what you want to be by age 40, the odds of you finding it are slim.  For me, I’m sort of stuck doing what I can and taking whatever comes my way — if anything — unless I win the lottery.  Best of luck to you; maybe you’ll fare better than I have.

For the person searching for the weirdest person ever pictures: sorry, I don’t post pics of myself here.  Or anywhere.  You’ve come to the right place, but with the wrong idea.

And, who in the heck is searching for my blog by name??  Anyone who knows me as DarcKnyt has probably already been here, so … maybe they’re out to find me again.  *Shifty eyed glance around*  You never know what they might want.

And to “Oh, the pain, the pain of it all” searcher — Doctor Smith, Lost in Space, played by Jonathon Harris, circa 1965-1968.  Funny, funny guy, that Dr. Smith.  Not quite captured by Gary Oldman in the big-screen homage, c. 1997.  He did okay, but not great.  I loved that guy, by the way — an iconic TV character if ever there was one.  Heh.

Okay, that’s it.  I noticed someone was searching for information on why yWriter didn’t count imported words in the total.  I bet it’s because you didn’t put the imported document(s) into a Scene in yWriter.  If you do that, it’ll total ‘em up purty for ya.  And if you need more information, you can try going to Simon Haynes’ Spacejock Software Google group site here.  Ask your question and Simon will answer.  It’s a great piece of software and way over my head.

Have a great evening, everyone!

-JDT-

Weird Search Terms

I’ve not had a lot of weird search terms come my way lately, so I haven’t done one of these in a while.  But today?

Well.

Weird Search Terms 7-8-2008

Here it is, my beloved Internets, in all its glory.

Now, why you’d ask Google for something related to “he really had to go” pee is beyond me.  I’m sure this has happened to all of us at some point, has it not?  I mean, I routinely have to grit my teeth and let my eyes water while on the train.  Do you really need a Google search for that?  What on the Internet could possibly replace your own experience with the urethra crushing pressure of a full bladder?  Seriously, y’all, this one’s just … well, weird.

As for the “leafless wow” searcher — try this guy‘s blog.  You’ll get wow, and he’s leafless on my blog.  Check him out!  :)

Have fun everyone.

If you have any insight as to why this person wants to find guys that really had to go pee, please … don’t tell me, okay?

-JDT-

Weird Search Terms – Weekend Edition

image Okay, I’ve had some weird search terms come my way over the course of the months I’ve been tracking them, and I have to say, this one’s about the second weirdest ever.

The first weirdest, ever, no kidding?  Someone did a search for “Sexy”.  That’s right, just “Sexy”.  No modifier, no qualifier, just … “Sexy”.  And the weird part?  They found MY blog doing so!  Hunh!  Go figger!

Anyway, this one’s weird too.  Very weird.

Raga, I need you to step up and let this person know what the deal is with outhouses and toilet paper string lights.  What the hell is a toilet paper string light?  Sounds either dangerous or painful.  So … being my resident expert on burning outhouses down, and the need for flame-retardant siding on them — I’m counting on you to tell me what the heck this person is looking for so I can fill ‘em in.

Just kidding, Rags.  I probably spew more sh!t in a day than you have your entire life.  We love you, sweetie.

But, if anyone out there does know what the Red Devil this is all about — keep it to yourself.  I don’t want to know.

Happy light stringing on your outhouse, whoever you are.  It certainly sounds like a great time.

New fiction tomorrow, but not Witch Hunt.  I’m not … I just have a really bad case of block with that right now.  I’m workin’ on it.

God bless, y’all.

-JDT-

 

Weird Search Terms: Pole Dancing, Etc.

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends,
we’re so glad you could attend! Come inside, come inside!
-Emerson, Lake and Palmer

Yes, indeedy, ladies and gentlemen, and everyone that excludes, it’s time once again to see the weirdness in the DarcKnyt search terms repository! See the freaks — and be left shivering in creeping gooseflesh! See the comedy, and struggle to restrain your bladder! See the kookiness, the oddity, the bizarre world of my search terms.

Okay, let’s see what Uncle Fester has for us today:

Click here to come inside, come inside