I hope it’s the dark before the dawn; I really do. But … time will show.

This sounds so lame but that expression it’s always darkest before the dawn gives me hope when life is in the pooper. I know times are hard but you really do have people that care about you and want nothing but happiness for you. I’ll keep you and your beautiful family in my heart and keep trying to win the lotto for us all.

Hugs and loves!

Raga

Casey — Thank you! It’s great to BE back! We missed you all terribly!

I had to sit down and think about how I wanted to respond to your comments. You both expressed something so deep and powerful I thought joking around about it, or being flip and cavalier just wasn’t going to cut it.

Thank you doesn’t even cut it. Not even close.

Sherri, I’ll send you an email, or maybe you and V can connect so she can give you the whole back story. It’s a lot, and it would be a whole tasteless blog post of its own to try and explain here. Besides, I don’t want to detract from the greatness of what you’ve said here.

I’m more than moved in my heart by what you’ve said. I know where my true friends are in times like these. I know when the events referenced in my post took place, I was in a dark, terrible place emotionally. Someone tried to help me with my writing and I didn’t handle it well. I didn’t attack that person, or say anything negative about them; I just got really down on my work. Sherri, you’ll remember some of that. I was so sure everything I wrote was weak, I should give up altogether. I know you had a hand in upholding me and getting me through it. Raga, your constant encouragement and faithful following of my work kept me going. No lie, I posted things just for you sometimes, because I wasn’t feeling very confident about my writing at all. I don’t know if I do now, but I’m going to press on even if I never slide above mediocrity.

The vehemence of your defense brought tears to my eyes today. I sat alone in my bright cubicle and tried to act composed, and hide the window of my browser whenever someone passed my desk. But I couldn’t stop reading it. It meant so much to have you in my corner, to have you ball your fists and gnash your teeth, all for me, against a perceived enemy of mine. It’s been a long, long time since anyone sided with me like that who wasn’t a spouse or my life-long friend Bill.

Now I realize I was wrong to believe he was the only life-long friend I had. I know I have at least two more who will go to bat for me, stand with me, and encourage me. Point out things I need to improve, and never sway from standing with me whatever it is I’m facing.

I love you both. God bless you. And, thank you. As weak as that is, thank you.

-JDT-