Wizards and Westerns

The human brain

I’ve finished watching the first three episodes of The Dresden Files, as recommended by Bryce.  I’ve got to admit, it’s a good show, and I’m kicking around watching the rest of them when there’s nothing else I need to do.  (Ha!)  Thanks, Bryce … good recommendation.  I’ve also got a taste for the books.

But more and more my mind is turning toward the idea of a western-meets-horror thing.  I’m not sure what just yet.  I only have raw scenes in mind; nothing concrete, no story.  I’m sort of prospecting my brain for the idea.  I don’t know why.  I’ve got a manuscript half edited and another half-written, I’ve got about a dozen unformed ideas with just a chapter or page written, and Lord knows, I’ve got to find a job.  I don’t know when I’ll ever have time to get to all these things floating through my brain.

For me, order and priority are of the utmost importance.  So much so, it’s almost impossible for me to break out of the ruts of that road once I start down it.  That leaves me with a lot of frustration and creative dregs drifting like flotsam and jetsam in the current of my mind.  There’s some good stuff there if I can collect all the pieces, but being a slave to my ways, I can’t break out and get to them.

While that might sound weird to many of you, and it sure does to me considering how I’ve flitted and drifted through things in the past, it’s something I’ve had to acknowledge and work with for a while now.  This last stretch of unemployment seems to be the most extreme example of it.  But I think I’ve always liked things in a process, with ordered steps, so I can follow a path.

It’s not that I’m unwilling to do something different, but there’s that overarching sense of guilt with it which keeps me from flying free and easy during this, my most free-time laden period.  I can’t explain it to you, but even when I’m not actively searching for a job, I don’t feel right about doing things that are strictly pleasure for me.  Writing.  Drawing.  Sometimes even reading, which I do in bed before sleeping and doesn’t interfere in any way with the other aspects I’m holding higher on the priority list.  So it’s a twitch in me.

What about you?  What sorts of things are chaining you up, holding you bound, anchoring you?  Is there a routine you want to break?  A pattern of something you’d like to get out of?


9 thoughts on “Wizards and Westerns

  1. Nothing’s anchoring me. I’m single. As for being chained up, well, being single, that’s something I have to pay for.

    Depends on who you spend your time with, bud. Choose wisely and ALL is free. 😉

  2. I tend to stay up pretty late at night. This is a habit I always want to get rid of but have not yet able to do so. Any advice or tip?

    Well, my buddy WIGSF says walking has helped his insomnia in immeasurable ways. You can try that. I’ve oft heard physical exercise will help sleep, but my huge gut tends toward deep, deep inertia … and as you know, a body at rest … 😉

    • Take a walk at 9, noon and 3. If you can get one after dinner to, that’s even better. You don’t even have to walk far. Usually, I just go for a walk around the block. It’s been of great help to me.

      Also, no caffeine after lunch. But that should go without saying.

      I’ll get a headache if I do that. I have to back down slowly. Too bad.

  3. What about a story of a Serial Killer in the old west…the old west stories are littered with stories of men that killed hundreds of people…Arkansas Dave Rudabar killed 300 men fore he was beheaded in mexico..Pat Garret claimed he killed 150 men all in self defense…thats the angle im tellin you it will work…Zman sends

    I like that. A serial killer in the old west. Thanks for the info, Zman! Hope you’re feeling well.

  4. I find I have one of two things: Time or money. I have a ton of projects to do and currently, I have money, but no time. During the winter, I have plenty of time to do things, but no money.

    Lack of one when I have the other always sends me into a depression.

    Yeah, that stinks, don’t it? But this last winter you didn’t have very much time. Well, spring I guess. So maybe the money will hang on until the winter? Or is the project list one for warm weather only?

  5. I am too addicted to my computer and TV. I spend way to much time on both. 🙂

    Hehehe. Yeah, my wife and I have the same problem. Too much to do on the computer, not enough time and dollars to get ’em all done.

  6. I can relate. I was unemployed for a few weeks once, and it just about drove me batty. I took a crappy filing job at a relative’s business just to keep my hands busy. Now I’m the office manager there, 7 years later. So I guess it all worked out. 🙂

    Good for you! Awesome story! Ours hasn’t been as happy a path. But we’re hopeful, and ask for all the prayers our friends can spare. 🙂

  7. The more free-time I have, the less I get done. Having to scrape out time makes me focus. That said, I’d like to stop questioning myself for every little thing. I’m going to let people read my novel–and then I’m sure this is a VERY BAD idea. Like, the secret is out–I’m delusional and have no talent. So, I’ll send this book out on the Solstice and then I will have days of panic attacks. And then I will think I shouldn’t admit to panic attacks because people will think I’m fishing for compliments. So I’ll tell people they don’t have to tell me anything, then I’ll wonder what they’re thinking–that I’m delusional and wasting my life and not always paying attention to the kid for something I can’t do.

    I’d like to stop this kind of thinking (and I’ve barely described it here).

    Oh … I think you’ve touched on it pretty well. I have a similar cycle. Or I did for a time. Now doubts are swirling in other areas instead of writing … because I’m not writing.

    I think I heard somewhere that it takes 90 days to break a bad habit–if you’re consistently trying.

    I’m of a mind that changing a habit and changing the programming of your mind are very different, but that’s me. 😉 Good luck. I know your novel is good, btw.

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