It Should Be Quarantined

This past weekend I watched Quarantine.

When I saw the trailer for it last year, I thought it looked like maybe something with potential.  The filming technique was the intimate, “first-person” view through a camera carried by one of the characters.  The same technique was very successful in Cloverfield and to a lesser extent in The Blair Witch Project (ugh).  So I thought a more traditional horror movie seen in that sort of perspective might be fun.

I was wrong.  Horribly wrong.

Now, I’m not sure if this is typical of this genre of movie, but the set-up took waaaay too long, and was among some of the worst acting I’ve ever seen.  The main character is a reporter for some gossip TV show, who, along with her cameraman and presumed friend, are going to ride along with a firefighter crew for a night.  They show some “playful” scenes wherein the firefighters are filmed giving a tour of the fire station, then playing a joke on a man in the shower, then in a race to see who can put on firefighter’s pants and suspenders fastest, and introducing the reporter to the station mascot (yes, a Dalmatian).  All in all it seemed a waste of celluloid, and none of it was convincing.

So when a call came in to the station and the reporter and cameraman are aboard the fire truck on its way to the scene, I thought maybe the film was about to pick up.

Well, in terms of pacing it did.  In terms of strength it did not.

I can’t remember exactly why, but for some reason the police and the fire department are trying to evacuate the building or at least get everyone to the ground floor.  They encounter an elderly lady making strange growling noises alone in her dark apartment.  When they try to assist her – or even put a light on her from the camera recording all the events – she becomes hysterical and screaming and … well, biting.

Can you guess where the rest of this goes?  Yeah, I could too.

I love horror movies – really, I do – but as I get older I’m also getting harder and harder to please cinematically.  I measure movies hard, scrutinize them closely, and while I try to allow for creativity and the fact that not all stories/plots/genres will be to my taste, I have fairly high expectations.

This didn’t meet them.  At all.  On any level.  I’m sure you can imagine what I said when I found the producers actually put the end of the movie into the trailers.  Niiiice.

I’ll say no more about this one, except to voice a recommendation … away from it.


All original content © 2009 DarcKnyt
ALL rights reserved.


8 thoughts on “It Should Be Quarantined

  1. I will have no trouble following your recommendation. Horror films made a brief resurgence in my taste, but have fallen off again.

    I keep thinking one of ’em, somewhere, somehow, is going to make me have a good time again. So far, nothing for many, many years. I can’t remember the last time I like one, in fact.

  2. Yay! More ammunition for why I SHOULDN’T have to watch this movie. Ben saw that it just became available on the NetFlix Streaming so we took it off our queue. Thanks! 🙂

    Glad to help! It really is bad. BAD.

  3. My sister made me watch Jennifer’s body this weekend…and the music was good, but the movie? EH.

    Really? Okay, so the music is good, the movie is meh, but how was Jennifer’s body? 😀 (If Jennifer was Megan Fox, nevermind. I know the answer.)

  4. We watched this a few months ago. For some reason, we didn’t think it was as bad as we expected. But our expectations were pretty damn low to begin with: the whole “fast-spreading disease turns people into monsters” sub-genre is getting reeeeal tiresome.

    Yeah, I’m with ya on that tiresome bit. I’ve not seen a “new” take on this whole sub-genre in YEARS. I thought it started with 28 Days Later but I bet it goes farther back than that. A zombie aficionado like my buddies Ben and Bryce would be able to tell me for sure.

  5. We watched this a few months ago. For some reason, we didn’t think it was as bad as we expected. But our expectations were pretty damn low to begin with: the whole “fast-spreading disease turns people into monsters” sub-genre is getting reeeeal tiresome.

    Feel strongly enough about this to say it twice, do you? Well I still agree. 😉

  6. I wouldn’t watch this or any horror movie, so the warning is beside the point. But I just wanted to say that I read the review and am here. Good to know on the horror movie front I’m not missing anything.

    Well, I’m happy to have you here. 🙂 No, not missing anything … not that I can tell. Maybe one of the remakes of the older “classics” will be better. *Sigh*

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