Well, you didn’t notice (probably), but I was offline most of the day yesterday.
Wanna know why?
Well, I’m gonna tell you anyway. See, I had a long-awaited, much-coveted, extremely rare job interview yesterday.
That’s right, I had an actual, face-to-face, in-the-flesh interview. I had to put on a suit (which still fit, surprisingly) and everything. I wore a tie. I had to drive to the location. I had to sit down and take a couple of number assessments. And I got to speak with a representative of the Human Resources department of the hiring company.
So, I got there about twenty minutes early. I smoked a quick cigarette (yeah, yeah, I know) in the parking lot, said a fast prayer, and went in. I waited for about ten minutes before the person who contacted me brought me into the bowels of the building for the assessments.
They were from Wonderlic. If you don’t know about my experience with Wonderlic, it’s not good. Last time I blew their test, horribly. I actually had to re-take it, and online, I did great. With a pencil in my hand, I did horribly. Maybe that’s fitting for a horror writer, but it wasn’t good. I didn’t get a second interview.
This time I didn’t fare much better. I had to compare two numbers and put a check mark next to any identical pairs. I had four minutes to do it. I had 200 pairs to match. That’s right – 200. How’d I do?
I got through 101 of them. I had no idea four minutes could pass so quickly.
Okay, nothing I can do about that one. The nice lady brings me another one. She laughs with me when I give her the deer-in-the-headlights look. We have a nice chuckle. She gives me the second assessment. This time I have one page of numbers. I have to complete the patterns. You know, something like 1, 2, 3, 2, 4, 2, 5, 2, 6 … blah blah. So they give you enough numbers to establish the pattern, then you fill in the last two numbers.
How’d I do?
Well, the nice lady stopped me again and I freaked. Freaked. I blew it again?! Are you friggin’ kidding me?!
So I figured I’d be dismissed summarily. No, no, it’s okay. I get put into Interview Room number 1. Immediately I feel like a suspect in a murder investigation. That’s what they say on CSI when they’re going to grill a murder suspect. “Put ‘em in Interview 1.” That’s usually followed by “You’re under arrest for …”, so I was more than a little nervous.
The interviewer comes in. She’s an older lady, very prim and librarian-like, and she’s a good three inches taller than I am. Greeeeaaaaaat. So, I stand up to shake her hand and then the interview is underway, just like that. She asks me how I am as she’s looking over my information and descends into the chair across from me.
It’s a form interview; she’s got a list of questions with spaces for her to write down my answers, and a few of them have blank bullet point markers. “Tell me your three greatest …” or “How would you rank yourself on this software package on a scale of one to ten?” That sort of thing. She asks. I answer. First couple of questions, she ends up cutting me off as I’m answering. Not rudely, mind you, but briskly. Move along, move along. I got what I wanted, next question. I finally got the hint and started watching her fill out the form (she didn’t make eye contact while she was writing), and when I saw the pen stop, I made sure my mouth did too.
How’d it go overall? Well, I was out of there in about 20 minutes. If there’s a follow-up interview, they’ll let me know. If there’s not going to be, they’ll tell me that too. I leave in a bit of a tizzy and wonder how it went. In the hard-hitting pace, I forgot to ask her for a business card. I have no idea where to send a thank you email. *Sigh*
So, that’s my interview, but it’s still a glimmer of hope in an otherwise dark landscape of unemployment. If you’re the praying type, please pray for us. We need it.
What’s up for the weekend with you guys?
All original content © 2009 DarcKnyt
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