Squandered Time


clock Ever looked back on time in your life and realize you squandered it?  Completely blew great opportunities or chances to do things you wanted to?  Or worse yet, needed to do?

I hope not.  I genuinely do.

But I’m not so lucky.  I have a bad habit of looking at things in a little bit of a negative light unless I can’t.  If there’s a way to see the downside to it I’ll find it.  So when I spent some quality time looking back over the last year of my life, I found a way to make a negative out of something which could’ve been a real positive.

Oh, to be sure, there have been some great things.  Some joyful things.  Some happy things.  And I’m not looking to detract from those.  But I also see a lot of lost opportunity, a lot of time gone forever which could’ve been used in a great, positive way.  My buddy Kristy pointed it out to me some time ago, and I thought I understood.  Turns out, the real impact of it settled on me last night and I spun into a deep depressed mood.

Fortunately, with the sun comes a new day, a new chance.  A new day to make a different choice and get things right, back on track.  I didn’t do that, but hey, that’s what the new days are for, right?  What good is having a new day if it’s not a new chance to screw up?

By the middle of the afternoon, I shook off the funk and was just back into my old self again.  But I can’t ditch the thoughts of squandered time, lost chances, water forever gone under the bridge of my life, which is fast eroding and shortening.  I’m going to try and make better use of the time, the chances I have.  I can fit in both the things I must do and the things I want to do, at least for now, and I have to work hard and be diligent in guarding myself against the laziness of taking time for granted.  Today’s another day, and I’ll be ready to make use of the time I have at hand, but that doesn’t mean I won’t continue to mess up.  I just have to be more careful with time.  There’s not a lot of that and it’s not like a bad investment, where you can recover your losses another way.

Nope.  I’ve squandered a year or more and like the wise old saying goes, I only regret the things I didn’t do during that time.

Back on the horse.

-JDT-

All original content © 2009 DarcKnyt
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11 thoughts on “Squandered Time

  1. Being thankful for life and that regardless of multiple errors of the past, things could be worse, much worse, helps me continue on.

    I try to keep the focus forward; backward is done, gone, unalterable.

    I try to keep the mind-set to not fret about anything beyond my control; and the events of the past fall into that category.

    I’ve tried, but I stink at it. 😉 I’m working on it, but … y’know.

  2. Once again, our posts mirror each other. You say you need to do more with your time, and I unknowingly give you tools to help. We have a karmic relationship, my friend.

    That’s what middle age is about, looking back at the first half (or thereabouts) of your life and learning from the mistakes you made. It’s why people go back to school, change jobs, get divorced, buy sports cars, and start sticking up for themselves. I hope this gives you the kick in the pants you needed.

    True. This was unnecessary though. I didn’t have to waste this time as much as I did. Ain’t it always the way.

    It took you a long time to become a pessimist so it’ll take a while to stop, but I’m here to help! Use your analytical powers for good, not evil! 🙂 (My optimism has just driven you back underground, hasn’t it? lol)

    Nah, I’m good. I’m trying to be optimistic myself. 🙂

  3. There must be something in the air. I just hung up the phone before sitting down to read your post. I was talking to my sister about this very thing.

    Maybe it’s that time of year? Generally this hits me about December. Near my birthday.

    Sometimes it helps to publicly announce a specific goal. I’m all ears. 🙂

    Oh, pishaw. I’ve seen that smile o’ yours. No ears in it. 😉

  4. If you didn’t gret things when they happened, why regret them now?

    Because at the time I didn’t see the … oh, forget it. You’re too young for regrets yet. Just wait, you whippersnapper you, JUST WAIT!! Your day’s a-comin’!!

  5. I don’t know if it’s a regret, but I wish the time I had with my kids when they were younger would have lasted longer. I really miss my babies and wish they aged in 1/2 time. So many parents dread the teenage years and can’t wait until their kids get out of the house. I wish mine were still underfoot rather than off being independent, productive members of society.

    It IS a regret, but a universal one for parents, I suspect. As the kids get older and progress in development, I find I enjoy them immensely at every stage, but long for the ones they’ve left behind them. And no matter how I insist they stop, they disobey me and continue growing up. 😉

  6. The missed opportunities and chances are the things that make you stronger. It usually gives you self realization and that what helps you make better choices and decisions in the future. Things will get better and the choices you make in the future will make your life better and more important enrich the lives of the people around you….zman sends

    Good thoughts and I sure hope they’re true, Zman. Thanks!

  7. I’ve made mistakes and missed opportunities sure. And I have moments of wishing… but most of the time I don’t because I can’t go back and everything made me who I am now. What if I had taken that other road? I might not have my amazing son. I might not be living in a town I love. You do not know. Why think that the opportunity would’ve been better? I prefer to work on what is here and what I can do now. Of course at the time you didn’t know. Right now you are making choices that will shape your future. You can’t now how. And there are too many factors you can’t control. Think of people who get on an airplane to take advantage of a great opportunity in another place–and that person ends up on a plane flown into buildings. Maybe you’re alive and with the woman you love because of a choice you don’t even remember.

    If you want to make better choices, choose to use the time thinking about what-might-have-been to get some writing done instead.

    All good wishes to you.

    All good thoughts, and a nice philosophy by which to live. Easier said than done, though. All the best to you too! 🙂

  8. I’m a day late. This came yesterday to my email:

    Daily Kabbalah Tune Up: Nerve to Fail Wednesday, November 4

    We use our mistakes as opportunities to grow so we don’t lose the nerve to commit new ones.

    Today, let yourself off the hook for missed opportunities and spoiled chances. Instead, ask yourself what you learned about yourself, and life, as a result. Then have the courage to move forward and risk failing again.

    Because every “no” brings you closer to a “yes.”

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