I got a salt rub. I was sprinkled with salt from head to toe, right over the top of my sweats and T-shirt. Then, I was rubbed with a sponge. A very sharp knife smoothed the surface of the salt, then I got hosed down in a whoosh of noise, water and spittle. (I discreetly wiped it away.) Afterward, a “sponge” – a plastic, Crayola-green half-circle – was loaded with soap and I got a good scrubbing … again, right over the top of my shirt, through my hair and over my stocking-clad feet.
Next came the hair cut. That same green block transformed into a pair of shears which buzzed through my hair and over my cheeks and chin. Then it was stuffed into the breast pocket of my shirt. Of course it transformed back to the soapy sponge first. You know – to clean the inside of that pocket. Next, my heart got a rub-down. Then my arms. I rolled over and my back got a similar treatment. My forearms were shaved and then I got a mud path, with the mineral goo applied liberally from the connectors of that semi-circular green block and slathered over head, chest, legs and finally face. Very relaxing.
After being rinsed off – the whooshing rush of water sound and more spit – I experienced another dosage of salt, but this time a second coat of pepper crusted me. The knife again – and it’s that same block, just in case you wondered – spread and smoothed the spice concoction like frosting on a cake. I sneezed, of course, which was uproariously funny to the spa employee. When the crust sat for a few minutes, another splashing with the hose left me refreshed and invigorated.
“Do you feel better?” she asked.
“Yes. Yes, I do. Very relaxed. Mmm. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Daddy. I’m going to go play with my brother now.”
She bounced out of the bedroom and I sat for about another twenty minutes, basking in a smile induced by my four year old daughter’s spa treatment. While grateful for the spa day retreat, I gave silent thanks her favorite cartoon characters put on a backyard spa instead of building a torture chamber. My night might’ve been very different.
What’d you do this weekend?
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