If not for me …

All of you who know her also know my wife has been blogging everyday for a couple of years now. She hasn’t missed a day since the last time we lost our connection, even though we don’t have one now.

Quite a trick, eh? Well, all of you who faithfully read her blog and don’t miss her posts have a bit of a surprise coming.

You wouldn’t have her to read if not for me.

That’s right. The same person who hasn’t missed a day of blogging in so long even when she has to steal bandwidth to do it – didn’t want to blog at all. I had to convince her to blog.

It wasn’t easy, either. First, I had to convince her it was easy. Second, I had to convince her she didn’t have to have anything interesting to say. (And how.) Third, I had to convince her she’d like it if she just tried it.

It took time, but I finally did. Now, her blog stats make mine look like a merry-go-round at Six Flags. She exceeds me in every category, except maybe comments. She hasn’t figured out how to elicit comments from her visitors yet. She has, however, mastered the art of dragging traffic accidentally to her site. It’s incredible how many hits she gets.

But those hundreds (yes, hundreds) of visitors wouldn’t even have her to read if I hadn’t worked so hard to convince her it wasn’t a waste of time to blog. Her world isn’t the same anymore. It’s not the first time I’ve changed her view of the world. She’s not the same Christian she was when I met her either. She’d never heard words like “hermeneutics” and “apologetics” before. I startled her and shocked her and taught her about things like dispensationalism, exegesis, and textual and historical criticism.

Not to break my arm patting myself on the back, but the person I married is a far cry from the person I’m married to. And I’m a big part of that.

What about you? What major influence have you had on a person? a corner of the cyberverse? the world? When did you end up having more impact than you ever imagined? Have you ever created a monster without meaning to?

Sound off, and I hope y’all had a great weekend.


All original content copyright 2010 DarcKnyt


12 thoughts on “If not for me …

  1. The comment/hit thing is probably a picture of how you and your wife have a different type of typical visitor. With a post every day, she’ll have high rankings in the search engines and draw those visitors, while you generally gain readers from networking. Those kind of connections draw more comments with fewer hits, especially since you answer every single comment. People like that. On my blog I have a handful of very loyal readers but not a huge number of comments on each post. I’m tired of networking and seeking new readers, keeping up with all that stuff bores me to tears nowadays.

    I‘ve lost interest too. It was fun to experiment with it for a bit though and see if the theories expounded played out. As for Fal, she knows where most of her hits come from and what they’re after. She’s good about tracking it. I’m not.

    But you asked a question, or rather, several.
    “What major influence have you had on a person?” I think I’ve had a positive influence on my husband and brother.

    Good places to begin! 🙂

    “a corner of the cyberverse?” Dunno about that. I think I’ve had an influence on several people through blogging, but I don’t think I’ve changed anybody’s worldview or life.

    How ’bout the friends whose lives you’ve touched? Like mine?

    “the world?” Hahaha.

    I know, me too. HAHAHAHA!

    “When did you end up having more impact than you ever imagined?” If that’s ever happened, the impacted kept it to him/her/itself.

    Well, you mentioned bro/hubs. What sort of impact? In what ways?

    “Have you ever created a monster without meaning to?” As far as I know, only myself. 🙂

    I helped make Fal a vicious debater and she’s got the potential to be a nasty apologist too. Hehehehe! Other than that, I’m with you — JUST ME!

  2. Ha. It was my husband’s idea I blog, too. He, however, doesn’t blog at all.

    I’m not that bad. Yet. 😉

    I can’t say if I’ve influenced anyone much. Well, I know I’ve had an impact on my kiddo. It still surprises me when I see him do something that so shows he is my child.

    I get scared when I see my impact on my kids sometimes.

    But one time at the end of a semester I was chatting with a student who said, “I used to think writing was boring. After your class I know that writing can be fun. I want to keep writing.”

    That meant a lot to me.

    That’s really nice. What a great feeling.

    My weekend wasn’t particularly good, but a funeral is never a good way to start anything.

    True enough.

    May you have a good week.

    And you, too. 🙂

  3. Ha! You still haven’t convinced me I don’t have anything interesting to say! LOL

    I think I’ve had an impact on you, in more ways than one. I like to think I keep you on your toes. 😀

    Love you madly, even if you do think of me as malleable clay. 😉

    We’ll see if you still feel that way after Wednesday’s post…

  4. My son talked me into blogging — he’s one of my biggest fans and also blogs — now it’s like a drug and I feel like something’s missing if I can’t post to my blogs a few times a week. Sorry . . . I guess I have an addictive nature. Probably happened during the 60’s!

    I have that same addictive nature to me, Louise. 🙂 It’s not always fun, is it?

  5. I get more hits per day on a dog fail picture I posted than I do on anything else. It wasn’t even MY picture and I didn’t think it was the funniest of the dog fail pictures. Shows what I know.

    I’m glad you talked her into blogging. She makes me laugh.

    I think the Interwebz in general is happy she took up the hobby/obsession. 🙂

    • I posted a picture of twin girls and it still gets me hits every week. I just found the picture online.

      Oh, I can only imagine the searches which bring people to your blog for that twin photo. Heh.

  6. I love that you both blog. I also enjoy seeing the occasional interaction between you in comments. Brings me joy to see a couple working at marriage and enjoying themselves. 🙂

    Well, we’re not enjoying ourselves as much as we did once, but life is that way. 🙂 I try not to post on her blog since we spend so (very) much time together in real life. 🙂

  7. I have ended up in a position where I have quite a lot of influence on a lot of people. All the people on my staff depend on me to help them to create a liveable work experience. And I seem to be the type of person that people turn to for help and advice. So that lets me make a difference. But mostly I feel I’ve made a difference to my husband. He’s a different man than when I met him. I can’t take all the credit – he changed himself – but I was privileged to be a catalyst.

    That’s a good way to say it, I suppose. Good for you both.

  8. I love how you get so many comments these days…I haven’t been to your wife’s blog in centuries..heck I haven’t been to my own blog in centuries 🙂

    Oh, I’ve seen you over there a couple of times lately. 😉

    You’re also a terrific commenter, always finding something to say, whereas I’m more of a lurker.

    There are plenty of places I lurk too. I don’t mind. I’m always glad to have you comment when you do. 🙂

    Here’s to your and your wife’s blogs!! May they see many, many anniversaries to come 😀

    Aw, thank you sweetie! And the same to you! 🙂

  9. That’s great that you’ve had such a positive impact on your wife. I think this is something everyone should step back and think about really… it’s a nice way to “self-assess” and see what good you’ve done in your life.

    But what influences I’ve made?

    In a corner of the cyberverse… my best friend, whom I’m told you about. Met on ICQ (it’ll be 10 years this fall), and frankly, we were both suicidal, but we’d confide in the other when life was too tough, when it all felt like too much, and it would be so much easier to not be around, and we promised each other one night when we were 15 or 16, that we weren’t allowed to take our lives. Looking back, I realize I felt like I wanted to die, I don’t think I ever would have done it, and how serious he ever was in his claims, I’m not sure, either. Regardless, we’re both alive today, and very different people now than we were then, and I think we have each other to thank for that.

    In a corner of the world… well, technically, he is German, and he does go home for about 6 months each year. When I was about 18, I worked in a pharmacy, and we also took people’s utility bills. This man who lived about 45 minutes away stopped in to pay his bill, he spoke broken English, and he had just come home from his trip to Germany and his phone had been disconnected. He wanted to pay his bill, and have it turned back on. I told him he would need to call the company and find out how much he owed, he could come pay us, and then it would be turned back on. He didn’t understand much of what I was saying, and just kept putting his last bill in front of me saying “I pay this and my phone will be turned back on”… so I took him out back, and I called the phone company for him. After an hour on the phone, we had everything sorted out, and his phone would be turned on the next day, and I explained to him “next time you want to leave the country for a long time, call the phone company to shut your phone off so you don’t have a HUGE bill and get disconnected”. Last summer, I was home visiting, and popped in to my old store, and they told me that this man still comes back every year after his trip home to Germany to have his phone reconnected and set up for him because I took care of everything the first time. It made me smile (:

    And then there is Matt. Some of the changes in him, are ones he’s told me about, as well as ones I’ve seen myself. Things he’s told me about himself that have changed… he’s more relaxed and chill. He was with his ex for 5 years, and she was always telling him how to behave, and what to do, and what to say. He’s more comfortable just being himself with me, he can have a couple beer, or play video games or have the guys over, while I’m home, and it’s not the end of the world. He feels supported, again, his ex wouldn’t put her neck out for him, she only ever looked at what she wanted, and he always felt like his dreams, and plans, and aspirations were never considered. Whereas now, we have the same dreams, and plans, and we plan our future together, rather than either of us being told “well this is what I want, so this is what we’re doing”.

    Since I’ve met him, some of the differences I’ve noticed in him… he’s more spontaneous. He liked to have fun before, but he was pretty reserved at times. He’d get totally embarassed by me at times, and ask “what the hell are you doing!?” Thinking everyone was looking at him funny, but frankly, I’m having fun. He’s more willing to be a kid, and laugh, and have fun, and do things on a whim, and has really stopped caring what others will think of what he is doing. He’s up for anything.

    He isn’t a jealous box anymore. He moved to the town I was living in, and we met there… so naturally, we’re going to run into men I’ve dated, and I’ve never really been in an awful relationship where when I see the guy I think “ugh… I never want to see him again”, so I’m still friendly when I run into them. I’d give them a hug, ask about how their life is going now, and I wish them no ill-will. Matt, on the other hand, the women he’s dated in the past… have all been crazy. They like to cause drama, and stir the pot, and be rude. (It’s a shame, because his ex of 5 years is honest to goodness the most beautiful woman I think I have ever met in my life, but she’s so shallow, and mean, and heartless.) So he had this idea that “ex’s were no good, always up to mischief”, and he always figured I would run back to one of them. I kept telling him that if we were still interested in one another, we’d not of broken up, we’re just better at being friends/drinking buddies than an item. The majority of them, it was simply “well we get along, we find the other attractive… let’s try hanging out solo” and no dice. It all came to a head one night though, we ran into a guy who I was good friends with in college, found out during that summer he was interested in me, but I wasn’t interested, then by the time Matt met him, this guy had a girlfriend, and they were having a baby, and I hugged him and said congrats… when we left the bar Matt flipped. He didn’t think it was appropriate, so I told him he needed to chill out because I wasn’t going to change who I was (a fun loving, hugging machine) to suit him. We’re both flirty by nature, and I like it that way. But it turned into a huge fight. By morning, he started to see how ridiculous it all was. He didn’t change over night, but he began realizing that jealousy is a nasty feeling, and it doesn’t do any good, and I’m happy to say, I don’t believe that there is a jealous bone in that man’s body anymore. I hate jealousy, I think it’s a waste. I’ve always known, that I was a jealous person, I knew it when I was little even… and when I got into high school, I made a very conscious effort to curb those feelings, to work through them. And I’ve been jealous box-free ever since (:

    He’s learned to cook, and to try new things. I adore cooking and baking, and I’m always looking for ways to try and make it from scratch. When we met… he had a bachelors fridge – only had milk and condiments in it, and his freezer only had microwaveable, processed junk in it, like pizza pops, hungry man dinners and garlic fingers. Since I’ve moved in about 4 years ago, those things have never made it into our fridge/freezer. He suggests things we should try, or when we go out for dinner, he thinks about what he’s eating and says “we can totally make this!” He’s found a passion for cooking and creating to coinside with the passion for food he already had.When we go to buy our groceries now, he see’s items and says “I bet this would be good, let’s pick it up and see what we can make out of it”. He’s the perfect sous chef to my kitchen.

    I think I could go on and on… but that’s long enough for today I think.
    Excellent blog topic… I think tonight I’ll talk to Matt about this one, see what he thinks.


    It certainly seems to have stirred up some thought processes and reflection on things for you. I’m happy to be of service. 🙂

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