Blair Witched


When my wife and I first saw the extremely hyped movie titled The Blair Witch Project advertised on TV, we went nuts. Both of us love that sort of thing – mysteries, missing people, unexplained events, ghost stories. You name it, we love it. We don’t buy into many of them, but the ad campaign was so well-conceived, so well-executed, we were caught up and rode the wave of excitement with a lot of other people.

Turns, out, we got suckered. But before we coughed up the nine bucks to see the movie in theaters, we did a little Internet research with our new-fangled high-speed cable Internet access (remember the late 90s? Ah, technology!). My wife’s a stickler for that sort of thing; she can’t NOT do the research on something. That one stuck in her craw especially because she thought she’d heard ALL the American urban legends and ghost stories, yet never heard of the this Blair Witch. Only a few minutes of digging revealed why.

Flash-forward to 2009. I’m watching Milla Jovovich tell me she’s going to portray psychologist Dr. Abigail Tyler in a new movie wherein Dr. Tyler’s actual footage from patient sessions will be used to portray the story of a woman suffering and persecuted for what she discovered doing a research study in Nome, Alaska.

The movie is called The Fourth Kind.

If you don’t already know about that movie, the title of my post gave away the surprise, so you might as well know – it’s all a fake, a hoax. There is no such person as Dr. Abigail Tyler, the statistics in Nome for missing persons have been incredibly exaggerated and the town itself is a little upset by the movie because the real, genuine missing persons cases have been trivialized by the portrayal of what’s going on up there.

I knew almost nothing about this movie, so when my wife and I watched it, we saw things which both had us shaking our heads and shrugging our shoulders. And my wife, as is her nature, jumped on the Internet immediately (she didn’t really watch it with me, she listened from the video game computer) and found that … it was another Blair Witch story.

The film studio was very hush-hush about everything, and there is never the claim of being based on actual events or a true story or any such thing. There’s also no disclaimer at the end (or anywhere else) indicating everything’s fictional, either, so with the blend of “authentic” and “actual” video footage from police dashboard cameras and patient sessions, the illusion is a good one.

As a movie, though, it was sort of entertaining and the style of storytelling was pretty effective. I’d give it a solid “C”, but I like these sorts of things. Your mileage may vary.

Seen any good movies lately? Seen any I recommended? What did you think? Was I right, or off my bean?

-JDT-

 

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9 thoughts on “Blair Witched

  1. I didn’t care that Blair witch wasn’t a true story. I did care that the second blair witch sucked ass.

    You didn’t think the first one sucked ass too? And WTF?! They made a SECOND one?! o_0

    • The first one was fun for what it was. Here is the imdb link for the second one: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0229260/

      Wow. They made a sequel to a stink-burger like that. And you know what I read a couple months ago? The trend in Hollywood recently is to remake BOMBED movies instead of good ones. “Do them right” is the thinking on that. How stupid do you have to be, really?

  2. I almost watched Shutter Island last weekend. But the disc was a shitty bootleg. I took it off after the opening credits. I put on some Police Squad episodes instead. Go and watch those again. If you don’t piss your pants laughing, you have no sense of humour and suck and should be ridiculed in public for sucking.

    I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Police Squad at all, so watching them would be a first. Send your DVDs and I’ll get right on it.

    • Send it where?

      To me, of course. Goof. And I was just kidding anyway; you couldn’t pay me to watch that stuff.

  3. Ahh…I remember the Blair Witch movie. At least you researched it to see that it wasn’t real. I live near Burkittsville, and people came from everywhere to try and find the Blair Witch when that movie came out.

    Thanks, thoughtsappear, for stopping by and letting us have a glimpse from the knowledgeable. Yes, we researched it, and thank goodness we didn’t end up being one of the thousands who harassed the local populaton trying to see what isn’t there. Appreciate you sharing! Thanks again and stop by anytime you like. 🙂

  4. The jiggling camera of those movies (Like “Blair Witch” & “Cloverfield”) gives me headaches!

    Sounds like you’re pretty normal to me, Louise — look how many other comments say the same. 🙂

  5. The only thing I heard about Blair Witch before I went to see it was the massive numbers of people throwing up in theatres due to the shakey camera. Turns out, I added to the statistic. I spent most of the movie with my head between my knees. The characters couldn’t die fast enough for me and by the time it was over I thought everyone involved with the “project” should have been executed.

    Huh; so you heard people got motion sick bu you went anyway? Did you not know you were prone to motion sickness when you did? I could tell from the trailers and because it was gonna all be through the kids’s cameras it would be bumpy. But not even the opening sequence of Saving Private Ryan made me motion sick, so this wasn’t a problem for me.

    • I’ve never had motion sickness until that movie. Now any time a camera starts shaking I want to barf. I went because I didn’t think I would be one of the puke makers in the theatre.

      LOL! I HATE when that happens! I got motion sick once as a kid on a plane; the turbulence between Atlanta and San Francisco kicked in somewhere over Alabama and didn’t let up until we dropped low enough to land. In those days, the pilot had the authority to open the bar up and keep the booze flowing. He did. Happy, very sleepy passengers at the gate, but two nauseous boys (my bro and I).

  6. You already know I don’t watch horror, so when Blair Witch came out, I didn’t even care whether or not it was real. But around that time my mother-in-law came up with this project. She likes to come up with projects for us to work on together when we visit. This particular project involved making stars out of sticks we found in the yard. So, I go along with these things because these projects are kind of silly, but not bad. Anyway, when I finished my stick star, I put it in my bag and forgot about it. The next day at work, I pulled the thing out of my bag and boy did I get an earful of Blair Witch. Everyone was convinced I’d made some kind of Blair Witch thing. I’ve never seen the movie but I understand there is some sort of stick thingy. I don’t know, but everyone drove me crazy with their, “Marta’s gone Blair Witch!” nonsense.

    Yeah, I seem to recall the stick thingy. You might’ve had a money-making opportunity there. 😉

    That’s what I think of that movie.

    And I haven’t watched any new movies lately. Though a friend has leant me Mad Men on DVD, so I’ll be watching that.

    I lov emovies, but finding good ones isn’t as easy as it sounds. 😦

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