Once upon a time, I had a bit of a crush on Angelina Jolie.
She was pretty – most of the time. In certain lighting, at some angles, and with some facial expressions, she’s her father. Ick. But a lot of the time, she was one of the most beautiful women in the world.
Lately though, she’s a little too skeletal for my tastes, and she’s not doing great movies either. She’s looking a little haggard and, well…old.
So I sat down on Saturday night to watch a movie and figured with explosions, guns and Angie, it can’t be too bad.
Or can it?
As it turns out, my son seems to feel the same way I did about AJ. He sat riveted through the whole thing, every angsty turn and far-fetched twist, and was so engrossed he actually forgot to eat while it was on.
The movie’s a fast-paced romp through DC and NY called Salt. Evelyn Salt is a former field agent for the CIA, now working a desk job after an operation in North Korea left her tortured and needing rescue from her husband, an arachnologist (now there’s a career for you). She uses this later, of course, but in her attempts to carry out her mission, and not have her cover blown, AND not get arrested by the CIA for being a sleeper spy, well … Angie’s make-up got a little mussed.
The idea sounded sort of fun: A female version of Jason Bourne, sort of. I liked it. We sat through it. But man alive, before the first plot point was reached, they’d lost me. On a word from someone they don’t know, a decorated CIA operative is turned on, and before you can fully figure out what the deal is, she’s off and running. She doesn’t really stop the entire way through.
Russian presidents are assassinated, the US president is threatened, and Liev Shreiber is the only one who can physically go toe-to-toe with her. On the eve of nuclear war, will Salt have the seasoning it takes to save the whole world?
Well…what do you think?
Salt isn’t bad, but it’s not great either. And you have to forgive a lot of physical impossibilities. But my son, when it was all said and done, said he loved it and the reason he cited? Angelina.
It was for her sake I sat through it too. YMMV. In the final analysis though, Angie won’t be able to get by on her looks much longer at all, and making movies like this isn’t helping her career any. You might say she’s rubbing SALT in the wounds of her aging, fading beauty.
Copyright 2011 DarcKnyt, All rights reserved