Sometimes I miss the days when I was young and strong. I had control over my emotions. I was icy and cold. I could withstand an emotional battering. Physically, I was intimidating. I could deal out a great deal of punishment and knew how to stop a lot of it from coming my way. In a lot of ways, I felt very superhuman, invincible, indestructible and eternal. I would go on forever.
Along with a body capable of many astounding physical feats, my brain was slog. I didn’t use it as much then. And that’s the part I don’t miss so much about youth. The parts where I made so many mistakes, and trusted the wrong people, and depended too much on the winds of chance. Poor decisions, poor alliances, poor options and finally just poor. I don’t miss those aspects at all. I don’t miss the parts where I didn’t get it and maybe still don’t.
I’m fuller now. My body stays on the ground much easier than it did before. Earth and I pull at each other much harder than we used to. We don’t like each other as much, gravity and I, but I know in the end he’ll have his way with me. He already has in many areas.
I see people now, so young and full of life, with so much in front of them. And I know they don’t get it, because to them, they’re eternal and indestructible and immortal. They’re foolish to think they’re going to be this way forever, but they remain blissfully ignorant of the years besetting them, of the insidiousness of time and its cloying deception of forever. It’s a mirage, but you won’t know that until you realize you’ve been pursuing it through the deserts of life without closing the gap. Instead, the spine is bent and the arches of the feet flattened, the head hung lower and the skin looser than before, the muscles less taut and sinuous. We discover the trick of time much too late in life, and experience, the harshest teacher of all, gives the test first and the lesson is taught after.
Copyright 2011, Darcknyt. All rights reserved.