Go Cry, Emo Kid

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me...

Remember that song about no one liking you when you were a kid? I’m singin’ that song again lately.

I’ve been told twice in the last 24 hours I’m too sensitive, and one of those came from someone I work with. That’s disconcerting, so I think I need to be more self-aware and display less, if possible. It’s troubling because I didn’t even know I was so transparent. I try to be more balanced at work, but lately things do not seem to be balanced for me at all.

Or maybe I’m just being too sensitive.

I guess the bad news is, I don’t know what I’m doing to seem sensitive to change it so I can be less sensitive. And if I can’t figure it out, what the heck is going to happen if I get to a point of real stress?

Pondering all this is stressful, of course, so I try not to think about it. I’ll just keep doing the best I can and see what’s what down the road. I’m trying to monitor my attitude. I feel I can discuss this with my wife safely, but how am I supposed to ask someone I work with why they’d think that of me? It sounds like I’m being overly sensitive if I do. A genuine Catch-22, if ever I saw one. So I guess I’ll let it roll off my shoulders and just forget it.

In other news, I got a raise the other day. Retroactive to last month, so this month’s check will be more generous than usual. It’s not a huge deal, but it is a nicety. I appreciated it.

Interestingly, one of the areas in which I got a high score was relationship building. Now I feel like Shaun Alexander. I get the raise and I’m overly-sensitive and sort of grumpy with people. I’ve been more irritable lately for some reason. My wife says it’s been about a month and a half. I cry BS on that, but now I’m wondering.

Well. I guess I’ll go and eat some worms.



6 thoughts on “Go Cry, Emo Kid

  1. I can’t tell you if you’re sensitive or not, haha, but I can tell you that if you’re too stressed it does cause a ton of emotional randomness. I get snappy and pissy, my husband gets quiet and passive, and my best friend turns into a ball of tears. Everyone reacts differently. Maybe the sensitivity is a clue for you to make some life changes?

    I have no idea, but I thought I’d share that. =)

    And, I appreciate that. Thanks for stomping all over my feelings. πŸ˜‰ My wife just said something similar so you’re probably onto something. I have to de-stress somehow, but I don’t like the idea of not being able to deal with my life as it is.

    • No problem. =)

      Well no one likes knowing their life is too much for them to handle, but I can tell you once you figure out what is spazing you out so badly and try to correct or eliminate it, things get a lot better. It’s like someone threw some rainbows at you or something, filled with all the best horror things you can imagine that make you inspired or happy.

      At least that’s how I imagine it happens. Haha.

      Heh. I guess I’ll find out. I have no idea how to even figure out what’s the matter with me lately. But I know I feel better today.

  2. I think it’s totally fair game for you to ask your colleague, in a neutral and solution-oriented way, what gives them the impression that you are overly sensitive. You can tell them that their feedback is valuable and that you are aiming to please. You need to know what the problem is before you can solve it, right?

    Hm. True. I hadn’t thought of it that way, and maybe that’s the best way to find out what others see. I’ll have to see what I can do. I also have to be careful because I don’t want to appear too needy. Any suggestions for the “neutral and solution-oriented way” of approaching this? I’d be very interested in learning.

  3. OK, here’s a sample script.
    “Hi, X, do you have a minute? Thanks. I just wanted to check in with you on something you said to me the other day. You said that I’m too sensitive. I spent some time thinking about that. I would really appreciate if you could tell me more specifically what it was that I said or did to create that impression, so that I can avoid doing it again.”
    (X gives feedback)
    “Cool, thanks.”
    Optional: “If you ever catch me doing that again, please feel free to call me on it. It’s a habit that might be hard to break but I’d like to try.”

    If you’re not charging to life coach people, Spark, you should think about it. You’re awesome. Thank you sweetie.

  4. You’ve probably already gone through the motions on this, but if some people are comfortable enough with *themselves* that they can be so forward, I would speak to them, just as Sparkling Red proposed above.

    I’ve actually done nothing. I don’t have enough dealings with people at this level to care and I let too much get to me. I’m part of the leadership team and I need to be a leader, not just in deed but by example. I need to pray about and remind myself to consider, these situations and let them slide away.

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