Stop Bumping My Happy


Happy_facesSounds dirty, don’t it?

It’s not.

See, I live life in a bit of a bubble. I run around and feel everything’s right with the world. Then something comes along and bumps into my bubble.

Mind you, nothing has burst that bubble. It’s only been bumped. For five years, I’ve been parking in the same parking space just outside my front door. No one said I could, no one gave it to me, it was just that no one else needed it or wanted it, so it was mine de facto. So I parked there and my bubble, which is my happy, expanded to include the little parking spot outside my door.

A few days ago, someone bumped into my happy by taking my parking space. It sent me on a downward spiral of seething anger and vicious rants against all humanity. And it made me make statements about the parental lineage of the individuals who took it. Mostly I wondered why someone who lives in a completely different building from me would park in front of these apartments rather than their own. WTF?

But that’s not the first time something’s bumped into my happy.

I got mad because the new neighbors who moved in last month directly over us brought a yippy little dog with them and it never STFUs. EVAR. That gets annoying. They tune it out until they scream bloody murder at the animal, and it goes quiet for a few minutes before launching into a new campaign of yippy little barks and howls. I hate that little f**ker, and I’m a dog person.

That bumped into my happy. The kids who lived above us probably thought we were absolute white TRASH because I scream and swear like a drunken sailor at: Traffic, noise, birds singing too early, birds singing too late, traffic, traffic noise, the lawn maintenance crew, snow, heat, rain in the heat, geese who crap on my car, geese who may crap on my car, football games, traffic, stupid television shows, noise, people displaying supreme stupidity on the Internet, traffic, noise…

You get the idea.

So, in light of how polite, quiet and well-natured they were, we probably seemed a lot like the people who belong in a rusty, leaning muffin-top trailer parked in a place with a buzzing neon sign missing a couple of letters, and where flies congregate for company, and people missing some or all of their teeth scream from the rickety, creaking aluminum stairs tumbling from the door for their barefoot and dirt-smudged children to come to supper. I can only imagine.

So when they moved out – and I said to my wife the same day we were going to get a-holes to replace them – I knew I’d be sorry. We’ve been lucky for five years, with terrific neighbors who were courteous and quiet and easy to live with.

So these ignoramuses moved in and bumped, repeatedly, into my happy.

So while I’ve ranted and railed against them, my wife found an interesting article which sort of hit me hard, a cold splash of water in the heat of the moment. In that article, someone used the expression “bumping into my happy” to describe things which aren’t really any reason to be upset or concerned, but just … well, bump into our happy.

It sank deep into me, but I’m not sure how deep yet. I still found myself irritated and gritting my teeth when the yippy little dog upstairs began the ceaseless yapping. I don’t know how I’ll react if my parking space becomes unavailable consistently. I don’t know if being inconvenienced is ever going to become easier, less aggravating, and stop making me blow my stack.

There are many, many things about which to get angry legitimately. The challenge for me now is to determine when those things are real, and when they just bump into my happy.

How about you? What bumps your happy? And what makes you angry and should? Can you tell the difference?

-JDT-

Copyright 2011 DarcKnyt, All rights reserved

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8 thoughts on “Stop Bumping My Happy

  1. Sounds like you have a pretty banged up Happy…!

    As for me, if we could do away with every car on the road except mine, then my Happy would be (almost) bump-free – i mean, besides the litany of other annoyances that jar me on a daily basis, that is.

    I’m with you, all cars but mine off the road would be happy. Until something else bumps it. 🙂 Thanks for coming by.

  2. Excellent post. I like the term ‘bump into my happy.’ Lucky for me, I’ve been able to learn the difference. I was a pretty emotional kid, not angry, just very sensitive. The slightest thing would send me into tears. I’m not much different now, but I’ve learned to avoid things or put up a wall against things that will upset me. Some things, I can’t avoid. Work, every day outside stresses like money, kid, living in Florida during hurricane season, sometimes just living in Flori-duh period, that kind of thing…

    I’d be stressed during hurricane season in Flori-duh (niiiice) too. But this is a recent stressor for you, isn’t it? You’ve only recently moved there, right? Not that all places don’t have their stressors…

    For those things, I do what I can and the rest I just roll with. If something ticks me off, I let it, I acknowledge that I am ticked off and then move on. I do something about the things I can control and the rest of it, I just have to let go.

    I had a man I admire greatly once tell me we, humans, usually only get mad when we lose control over one of three things: Situation, Person or Things. When we can’t control someone, we get angry. When we can’t control something, like our cars or the weather, we get angry. And when we can’t control circumstances/situations, we get angry. In general, I can identify what those are and do better with controlling myself (which is all we can EVER really control, he taught me), but for some reason, the bumpkins upstairs really chaff my hide.

    One thing that has helped me greatly, and maybe it will help you too, is this…balance. For every crappy thing, there is a good thing. Like when my husband was unemployed, it SUCKED!!! But, during that summer, he got to spend more time with our daughter and it brought them closer, which was a great thing. We were scraping by financially, which SUCKED!!! But, my daughter and I re-discovered the joys of the library and other free things which just finding the free things became fun in and of itself. Lots of things suck, but there are often good things to balance them out.

    I try to remember the good things. It does, in fact, help. 🙂

    Again though, this is a learned behavior. Things will always make you angry or upset, and that’s perfectly normal. You’re human!! But you can learn how to deal with it differently, which it sounds like you’re trying to do. Good luck! It’s a journey. 🙂

    A long, arduous, difficult, happy-bumping journey… 😉

    • Oh yeah, hurricane season in Flori-duh is pretty recent, but scary all the same. Maybe one day we’ll be like the other locals who stock up on booze and party supplies and then get disappointed when the storm DOESN’T happen. But for now, a natural disaster is still that…a disaster. LOL

      One day you’ll either be as grizzled and calloused as they are, or you’ll have moved. Whichever your preference is the one I’ll pray happens for you. 😉

      I totally understand how the bumpkins upstairs still chaff your hide. There are a handful of ppl in my life that do the same to me. No matter how much I try to blow them off, they still get under my skin. Grrrrrrr…. 🙂

      It’s sad, but true. I have so little tolerance for anyone’s failings but mine and those in my immediate love-circle. 🙂

  3. I can’t help it….all I can think of is you bumping around doing a happy dance. :LOL: I know, you don’t dance. 😉

    I sure don’t, Jaymie; they have tsunamis in Japan if I do. 😉 😀

  4. Two words (or is it one word, technically?) for you: in-laws. They bump much happy. I hope your happy doesn’t stay bumped though, and that it gets bumped in a good way. You know, the better bump. Always fun to think in the gutter.

    Well, do Matt’s in-laws (two hyphenated words) bump HIS happy? Aren’t you living with one of his in-laws right now? Perhaps it’s a mutual in-law happy-bump? But — my in-laws do, indeed, bump my happy. HARD. And my wife’s in-laws bump hers too. HARD. And I’ve had in-laws, once upon a time, who didn’t, but I’d not trade those in-laws for this beautiful and amazing spouse, so the solution for us both is to avoid the in-laws until their dead. We’re going on eight years now. So far, so good.

    Yes, I’m five still. =)

  5. I enjoy the phrase “bump my happy”. It’s appropriate.

    Angry and me, we don’t really see eye to eye anymore. We used to, I won’t lie. I was a very angry teenager. Took all of those years, plus a couple more to realize arguing with my folks was a waste of time, so now I humor them, and pick a rare battle here or there when it’s absolutely necessary, but even when I do, it’s never an argument anymore, because I’ve learned to make my point, be firm, and tell them how it is, and I’m not changing that. It works.

    I’ve been consciously aware of my temper issues, for a very long time, same as my natural jealousy. I have been since I was a little girl, but I have always known this about myself. And after I graduated, I finally started seeing how bad they both were for me, and making strides to correct the behavior, to read the signs when I sense those feelings coming on, I’ve learned to cope very well with both, because I don’t like how either make me feel. I get annoyed, and worked up sometimes, but I ask myself “will this matter in 10 minutes? 10 days? 10 months? 10 years?”. I step away, and I give myself some time to think rationally. Acting immediately, or stewing has only ended in negative results for me.

    When Matt and I first met, we’d only known one another for a few months, and likewise, had been living together that long, too, we had a huge argument on the drive home from his working at the bar. We stopped to hit the bank to take our rent money out on the way, and continued arguing until we arrived at our building. He had some jealousy issues from previous exes, and moving to my home town didn’t help when he was running into men I’d been intimate/involved with, or they were interested in me, and nothing happened, he still didn’t like it (thank goodness he got over that quickly), but our argument escalated pretty quick, and when we got out of the car, he said something that just threw me off the deep end. I yelled and I huffed my purse at him, and without even thinking, he just reacted, he picked it up and huffed it into the huge field of tall grass behind our building. “Our rent money is in there!!!” I screamed, and ran to find it (it also had our wallets, and cell phones, too). We looked for over an hour, and couldn’t find it, Matt’s a killer ball player, and has a hell of an arm, and neither of us were paying attention to where it went, so that didn’t help any. We went out again in the morning to look and eventually found it, and sat in the grass laughing about how pathetic we were. Ever since, Matt and I have always laid all the cards on the table, and been very blunt with one another. We point out to the other when we see the other getting worked up, because stewing and getting angry won’t help. And I always remember that night. We let our emotions get the best of us, and it came with some really ridiculous results for nothing. Something we could have easily dealt with in a better manner.

    I feel I’m too young and too old to waste my time on bad things.

    And you’re right on both counts. You are. This isn’t, however, something I can *poof* out of existence for myself. I have to deal with it somehow and in a better way, and I know I’m being called to be a person whose anger isn’t easily triggered and is therefore formidable. I need to be someone controlled and respectable, not a flighty, angry little man with tantrums. A long row to hoe? Sure. Worth it? I’ve got one child on the cusp of becoming a teenager; what do you think? 😉

    • Stock up on Tylenol now, lol.

      No doubt! LOL! (As an aside, is it wimpy for a grown man to say “LOL”?)

      At least you are acknowledging this. My parents didn’t, and I wasn’t the best to them, but it wasn’t always me. They have finally mellowed out, too, over the years, which is a huge help, but high school is tough with a fly-off the handle angry Daddy-O.

      I’m working on changing that even as we speak. 🙂

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