There are times at work where, in my head, in the movie playing only in my mind, I can hear the same music used for unicycle-riding clowns juggling.
There are times when I feel I probably should be that clown, except I can’t juggle or ride a unicycle.
I feel like I need to make sure my boss is completely entertained and happy, or at least distracted, or he’s going to find out I’m not very good at my job and will fire me. I mean, I do fine with running reports or working with macros which have already been written, but when challenged to come up with something not being done currently?
Well. Smack that panic-button, and cue the clowns and loud music.
I generally need to think about stuff for a while before I can execute it. If I don’t, I sit in an anxiety attack and wonder what the hell I’m supposed to do. I’m not a full-blown programmer and have never been such, never claimed to be such, but it’s part of my job and I have to do it sometimes. I’ve tried reading books and things to help myself improve, but honestly it’s not done much good to now. I’m sort of a visual learner. Actually, the way I learn best is by someone showing me, explaining it along the way, and then my doing it myself. This is sort of how I learned to do woodworking, and it stays with me far longer than any other method.
Unfortunately there aren’t many ways to do that with computer programming. At least, not that I’ve found. The few times I’ve tried it the droning instructor has me ready to kill myself in a matter of minutes. Maybe the subject’s just too dry.
So I have a bit of programming I have to do over the next week, and I’m not at all sure of myself in this area. But I’m going to try to be anyway and see what happens. I mean, I eventually figure it out, but that “eventually” part is the killer.
So my Monday was like that. How was yours?
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