Did you come here searching for sandwiches? Don’t be embarrassed, a lot of people have. What are you looking for relative to sandwiches, exactly? Recipes? Ideas?

Here’s tip for you, sandwich searcher: SANDWICHES AREN’T THAT F*CKING HARD. Take two pieces of bread and your favorite solid food, cover the bread on one face per slice with the condiment of your choice, and put them together with the dry surfaces facing out. Stick that in your dumbass pie hole, chew, swallow, repeat. SANDWICH. There. Happy?

Ideas for sandwiches? How about this one: Take your favorite non-liquid food, slap it between two slices of bread coated on one surface with your favorite condiment, put them together with the dry surfaces facing out, and stick that piece of sh!t in your pie hole. Chew, swallow, repeat.

Know why?

BECAUSE SANDWICHES AREN’T F*CKING ROCKET SCIENCE, YOU STUPID F*CKTARD. It’s a sandwich, for God’s sake, not brain surgery.

Do yourself a favor and get off the Internet for a while, okay?

12 thoughts on “SANDWICH Time

    • You know, some things just taste better when someone else makes it. My Mom makes the BEST potato salad, and I make mine EXACTLY the same way, but mine NEVER tastes like hers.

      I know! What is UP with that?!

      There is a sub and ice cream shop called “Dan’s” where Matt used to live, and every time we’re around the area we have to stop in. Dan buys all of his supplies from the grocery store across the road, and our buddy is the bakery manager. He makes the sub buns for Dan, but he tries bringing home the same buns he makes and sells to Dan, and the meats and cheeses, and his subs just cannot compare.

      What is the mojo?! I have to know!

  1. Wow… you are really angry at the sandwich people. If I had people checking out my blog looking for sandwiches, I would embrace it and try to help them. Actually you have given me a new goal, I am going to try and mention the word sandwich in every blog entry for the rest of the year.

    Awesome, can’t wait.

  2. LOL at your sandwich rage. Er, a little irritable, did you say? A tad vexed? A mite irked? Understatement of the year!

    Pff, new day, new irritation. πŸ˜‰

    Personally I am happy for you to throw everything you’ve got at sandwiches. I never much liked them, and now they’re off my menu for good. Speaking of which, this season may as well be called Wheatmas, for all the cookies, cakes, and gingerbread houses that are flooding into my workplace. If you’d like to devote a post to baked-goods rage, I’m all ears.

    Yeah, not sure I could handle the whole situation myself. Though it would likely help my weight problem to a great extent.

  3. So if I put spaghetti between bread, tis a sandwich?

    What, you can’t read instructions? And there’s an apostrophe before the T in “’tis”, dork. πŸ˜‰

  4. I wish I had some bread in the house. Or things to make a sandwich. Cereal it is! Grocery day tomorrow lol

    As an aside, cereals do NOT make for good sandwiches.

  5. I just wanted to look at a picture of a sandwich seeing as its nearly lunchtime. And may I say, what a mighty impressive sandwich pic you have.

    Thanks Jag. I’d love to take credit for it, but it’s one the great oracle Google provided. πŸ™‚

    p.s. what if my favourite solid food is a sandwich, does that mean I can have a sandwich sandwich?! The mind boggles!!!!

    Well, don’t boggle too hard — consider, for instance, the club sandwich — essentially two sandwiches sharing a single piece of bread which is between the two. Your concept is similar, therefore, I endorse it and say — GO FOR IT! πŸ™‚

    Thanks for coming by!

  6. Thank you for making my day xD lmao that was sereously the most f**king hilarious thing I’ve seen/heard all day x)

    Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed the post! πŸ™‚

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