So, did you miss me yesterday? Didja? Huh?
I bet not. But, because I don’t have anything else to blog about, I’ll tell you what’s been going on with me.
A week ago or so, my boss approached me with a formal meeting request to go over a project list. He said he’d spoken to the other members of his direct reporting staff, and they told him the projects they needed to have addressed. He then took those projects and put them into an Excel tracking chart, assigned them various degrees of priority and “effect” (whatever that means), and based on a straight calculation came up with their relative importance.
Then, he put a plan chart in place which is sort of a project tracking thing. He put the start and end dates on it and I’m supposed to update my progress and let him know whether I fell sort of the scheduled completion, met the deadline, or came in ahead of it.
Then he laid it on me.
Now, I’m not sure what the actual discussions might’ve been like with those other people, but I recognize some of the projects on the list. I’ve been stymied by some of them before. I told him that at the time. I didn’t have the skill set to fix the problem, or to address the issue, or whatever. So these things I see on my list now have become must-do things.
Two points came to mind in this order:
- This list is incredibly helpful, because I have a place to go where I can see what needs to be done, when it has to be done and track my progress on it. I’ll be able to figure out what to do with my day, won’t forget about anything I should be working on, and can see how I’m doing in a graphic representation.
- This list is condemning, and places me squarely in a situation in which I’ll be fired for lack of performance in short order. Some of the projects seem specifically designed to be beyond my depth, outside my current skills, and to be set-ups for failure. In short, it seems my boss would like to build a good, solid case for getting rid of me, and this is the fastest and easiest way to do it.
Of course, I may have missed the point on the progress chart and maybe point two above is just my paranoia talking loudly in my ear. The fact my boss never sat down with me, never asked me why I didn’t address those things, never had a closed-door meeting with me, all could point to just being too busy. So I could be wrong. Which, you know, I’m not.
I don’t know why else he’d compile a list of things I was supposed to do and didn’t for one reason or another unless he wanted to present a rock-solid, excuse-proof way to pin me down and demonstrate incompetence. I’m not sure this was innocuous, I’m not sure it wasn’t. I can’t be sure of anything. One thing is certain, though: I don’t have a lot of free time any more. And that means less blogging.
My days are fuller, and my evenings require more “me” time than I’m used to. I’ve been living under incredible stress trying to meet or exceed these deadlines and do things I didn’t think I could do. I have to learn them, implement them, test them, and deploy them into our production system.
My boss says he tried to account for my heavy reporting on Mondays and gave me what he thought were relatively reasonable amounts of time to finish the projects on the list. This, in my mind, is another way of saying he’s not pleased with my performance. He’s suffering from buyer’s remorse with me and is now going to either demand his money’s worth, or his money back, before he invests any more in me.
I don’t blame him. Truly, I don’t. But I’m living like that jack rabbit from a couple of posts ago, and it’s not a lot of fun.
So that’s where I’ve been, that’s where I’ll be, and that’s what’s happening. When you don’t see me or hear from me, you’ll know why.
God bless y’all, and take care.