Quick Hit and Random Stuff

Nothing to say, really; just a little brain stew.

SSRLP is kickin’ my a$$. No two ways about it.

WIGSF has a really nice post today. Go check it out and get a smile on.

My beloved did her usual Tuesday Tootsie, so you can go see some strange and unique shoes if you’re a mind to. Remember they’re women’s shoes though.

I got some bad news on the employment front (or UNemployment front, I guess), so if you’re the praying type, we need all of that you can spare. And any money you can spare would be welcome too. (HA! Wacka wacka wacka! Insert rim-shot here.)

How ‘bout some poetry? Check out Jaymie’s blog or Danielle’s blog. Or go see Louise Dragon (Weezel) or Al Bruno III for some intriguing and unique stories. Linda did a nice little fun exercise a few days ago; you writers can check it out here.

Sorry, not much else going on today. A lot of worry and stress. A lot of graying hair. A lot of fear and panic.

How’s it by you?

-JDT-

 

All original content © 2009 DarcKnyt
ALL rights reserved.

It’s on the Upswing — Randomness

Earth daylight Northern summer
Image via Wikipedia

Well, the solstice is over and we’re on the way to having more daylight every day now. Soon we’ll be complaining about the heat and humidity again.

It’s been a surprise, as it normally is, to see how quickly 2009 went by. Just yesterday it was 2008 and there was all the bustle and excitement and disappointment of an election year. Then the holidays rolled around and here I am again at the holidays, and it feels like all I did was blink.

I have to go get my driver’s license renewed very soon here. I’m not looking forward to that. I’ve a lot of reasons for dreading it and all of ‘em are monetary in nature. Oh well, gotta do what I gotta do I guess.

I’ve spent the entirety of 2009 unemployed, living paycheck to paycheck with my unemployment benefits. That’s a blessing – it paid enough for us to survive, if not live. We’ve had some fun, but also some hard times. Right now is a hard time, and there’s no sign of it letting up. I keep hearing in the news about how things are improving in the economy and that simply doesn’t play out in my everyday life.

I had a full year and some where I could’ve been writing mostly full-time. I squandered it. At the same time, the stresses of job hunting and trying to figure out how to get by on a fraction of a regular salary hasn’t exactly been creative-juice flow medicine, you know? I can look back and regret what I didn’t do or look ahead and hope 2010 is better. I choose the latter, even though that’s not my nature. But everyday will be a little longer from here until June.

And that’s it. It’s all I’ve got right now, so I’m sorry this is so boring, but I really have nothing to add.

What about you? Plans for the holidays? Visits, visitors, staying at home?

-JDT-

All original content © 2009 DarcKnyt
ALL rights reserved.

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Wizards and Westerns

The human brain

I’ve finished watching the first three episodes of The Dresden Files, as recommended by Bryce.  I’ve got to admit, it’s a good show, and I’m kicking around watching the rest of them when there’s nothing else I need to do.  (Ha!)  Thanks, Bryce … good recommendation.  I’ve also got a taste for the books.

But more and more my mind is turning toward the idea of a western-meets-horror thing.  I’m not sure what just yet.  I only have raw scenes in mind; nothing concrete, no story.  I’m sort of prospecting my brain for the idea.  I don’t know why.  I’ve got a manuscript half edited and another half-written, I’ve got about a dozen unformed ideas with just a chapter or page written, and Lord knows, I’ve got to find a job.  I don’t know when I’ll ever have time to get to all these things floating through my brain.

For me, order and priority are of the utmost importance.  So much so, it’s almost impossible for me to break out of the ruts of that road once I start down it.  That leaves me with a lot of frustration and creative dregs drifting like flotsam and jetsam in the current of my mind.  There’s some good stuff there if I can collect all the pieces, but being a slave to my ways, I can’t break out and get to them.

While that might sound weird to many of you, and it sure does to me considering how I’ve flitted and drifted through things in the past, it’s something I’ve had to acknowledge and work with for a while now.  This last stretch of unemployment seems to be the most extreme example of it.  But I think I’ve always liked things in a process, with ordered steps, so I can follow a path.

It’s not that I’m unwilling to do something different, but there’s that overarching sense of guilt with it which keeps me from flying free and easy during this, my most free-time laden period.  I can’t explain it to you, but even when I’m not actively searching for a job, I don’t feel right about doing things that are strictly pleasure for me.  Writing.  Drawing.  Sometimes even reading, which I do in bed before sleeping and doesn’t interfere in any way with the other aspects I’m holding higher on the priority list.  So it’s a twitch in me.

What about you?  What sorts of things are chaining you up, holding you bound, anchoring you?  Is there a routine you want to break?  A pattern of something you’d like to get out of?

-JDT-

Time to Shake Things Up

Monster.com visits the Craigslist office
Image by unfurl via Flickr

Sometimes, I’m a little dense.  A little thick-headed.  A little dumb.  But eventually, I learn.  And I have finally learned something.  What was it?  That what I’m doing to solve my current situational problem isn’t working.

Well, now I think it’s high time I recognized continuing to do things the same way is going to lead to the same results, and y’all, that ain’t good.

So, I can’t promise I’ll be as active online for a little while as I try to straighten out my resume.  I’m going to try for a new format and a few variations on it, to see if applying for positions with something more specialized helps.  In time.

I’ve been putting this off for a long time because I hate the idea of struggling to come up with buzz words (and not knowing that they should be!), and fighting to make correlations between my actual skills and things being sought in the marketplace.  No more.  I can’t run the machine the same way anymore.  Just can’t.

So, despite my procrastinated desire to work on my manuscript, I have to put that off and look at doing something drastic to my resume and see if I can land the elusive job in the land of 8% unemployment.  Since this is priority one, I’ll have to put off other writing things I want to do, too.

Wish me luck, and if any of you have specific buzz words you can offer me from today’s employment market, please feel free to do so.

See ya when I can!
-JDT-

Antsy

Restless
Image by just.Luc via Flickr

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve really had a strong feeling of restlessness.  It’s not anxiety, per se, but it’s an edginess I can’t define clearly, put my finger on.  Not all the way, at least.

Being out of work for so long isn’t helping, of course.  But it’s more than that.  Being helpless in a lot of ways in this situation brings its own sense of frustration, but there’s a tiger pacing in a cage somewhere inside me and I can’t figure out what’s got it so wound up.  There’s something in my spirit that’s uneasy.  I have no clue what it is, but I bet it’s contributing to my inability to crank out anything creative lately.

I’ve spoken to my beloved wife about this.  She has interesting insights on it, but nothing she’s said has helped me overcome this crap either.  I get more and more ticked off about it as time goes on.

Part of me wants to do something.  But with our current situation, that’s simply not possible.

Oh well.  I guess it could be worse.  But it’s times like this that make me wish I was a gamer.  Maybe a nice round of mindless alien-gunning would help.

What’s on your mind lately?

-JDT-